depression - a brief insight to my current state of mind

a week ago today, the girl i was seeing broke up with me. this was shit. i'm not even sure we were officially going out. it made me feel a lot of things, an idiot, hurt, sad, worried, lonely, pathetic. she did it all via text and i haven't seen her since. thats not nice. she had her reasons though and i respect that, i'm also worried about her though. i've had a lot of friends who've been brilliant and got me through a tough week. i'm not sure she has. that sounded bitchy it wasn't meant that way. i find it weird, just how much it hurts, i guess it shows how much i actually thought of her, she felt like my soulmate, but it had only been a very short time we were together, so i feel like a dick who is acting like some lovesick teenager, and yet not talking to her all day every day, not seeing her lots and sharing whats going on in our day to day lives actually hurts. i am so grateful for the few months we were together, at times i've never been happier, i felt like i was on cloud 9. but life goes on and i will too. one  very good friend told me something i really liked, he said "you met her, realised she was special, that you wanted to be with her, went for it, got it, and through no fault of your own it didnt work out, so you did good" i still love her, i always will, silly as i feel after only a few months. that is the truth.

so friends gave me advice, took me and got me pissed all weekend, lots and lots have been there for me and i really appreciate that and know that i am lucky. one of them told me to write another blog. it got it all out there (well most of it, this is what it is right now, there might be more to come or something i've forgotten)
thankfully only that friend reads this. not sure i'd want everyone to see this. i like being able to get things out there without people knowing. and if people do find this then so be it, maybe one day she will read it and know how i felt since she wont talk to me now.

but enough of all this maudlin shite i think i'm gonna get a guitar and write an album about it all

and for some reason from the start i've wanted to end with a picture of a dog in a hat