the glamorous life of a musician.

early start. half day of work. pick everyone up. drive 200 miles, through traffic jams and past maaaatlock, get confused by 1 way systems. get to gig. soundcheck then sit in the van while michael shouts at people.
play mint gig. wait for shite band after us to finish. set off home. drive 300 miles cos you get lost. find new way. find closed road. confuse workies. have stupid argument at macdonalds. have biggest laughs at services. wonder how you are still awake. then drop everyone off. get home. exhausted. but wide awake due to the sugary drinks to keep you awake on the road. watch crap tv. write crap blog. would i change it? would i fuck!

plans

today is a day that i had planned for a while. i had ideas for presents and things to do. grand gestures and little surprises. how the world changes ey. i'm making plans for other things now. gonna start again. it'll be good again too.

i've spent the last couple of minutes talking to a midget. he doesnt have proper arms either, he's a good lad though.

this weekend i get a trip away then come home to what is a very big day for my band. it should be very exciting.

wondering where to go from here though. how do i start again? what new plans can i make? its a funny old world sometimes

there's always a 3rd way

so i'm starting today writing my 3rd type of blog, there's been the weird possibly funny inner workings of my strange little mind with wild accusations, odd stories and pictures of animals in hats. then there's been the feeling sorry for myself really depressing cries for help. i apologise for the second type, i've been a right moody twat recently, but i found some of my confidence behind the settee this morning and i promise you wont get one of those from me again.

so a wise man once drunkenly stated that there is ALWAYS a third way. he scared some people and argued with others but on this occasion he is right, only for this though, not all the time, dont get your hopes up sunshine!

my third way of writing a blog is to talk about something i believe in. and for me this is the alternative vote. i am going to vote YES. i am not writing this to tell you you have to vote yes too, to be fair i'm not sure half the people who read this blog are allowed to vote either due to the fact your not from the uk or because you are deemed mentally unstable or possibly because it seems that most of the hits i have got on this blog seem to be for one picture of jose mourinho.....

just look at him, i'm actually getting a little confused about my feelings for him, but thats for another blog, i've got sidetracked here, back to my point....

i'm not saying you should vote yes, thats your decision, i'm just giving the reasons i am voting yes and then letting you decide for yourselves. for me it comes down to one simple reason. the voting system in this country is currently flawed in that there are more people who dont want the ruling party in than there are people who do. under AV the winning candidate will be the one that most people are happy with. i could try and explain how it all works but whats the point there are others out there who can do it better than me.

also i will try and sway you a little by naming 3 groups of people who dont want AV...... the tories, the bnp, the daily mail.....

i drove a band on tour last weekend. that was tiring, i was in the presence of a man who thought he had shit himself on 2 seperate occasions, i slept in my van for 2 nights, and among the many other things i ate a pretty much a whole tesco value cheesecake

wow i just got interrupted there by someone coming into my office and buying something, i had some work to do, if only that happened more often, my head might not be the mess that it is! 

anyways back to the tour, turns out your allowed to party on the beach at portsmouth! its mint! 

and another thing dont worry too much about my mourinho thing as one day i will marry this woman 

also is anyone else aware of the sky channel called QUEST? i am always disappointed when i skip past it as i almost always stop thinking it is uk conquest and i am finally gonna see an episode of skirmish.

wow this has been a long blog for me. i think i have actually covered all 3 blog types in this one blog, does that make it a 4th way, a kind of all of the above selection. well there you go chris, there's actually always a 4th way, so suck on that. 

oh by the way in 48 days time i will be in glastonbury! 

get in. 

and to finish i again had chicken fajitas for tea as mentioned in a previous blog here. it was even nicer this time 

ps supporting lady gaga next week!

listen please - royal wedding special

so i share an office with an accountant who runs a business called argot accounting. he is away this week so i am stuck answering his phone and taking messages.
i have i just had a very long conversation with  a silly old woman who did not want to listen to what i said. it went a little something like this.....

me: good morning argot accounting dave speaking
woman: why is it so hard to get hold of you's?
me: erm can i help?
woman: yeah i want to return something to your shop, its broken.
me: ah i think you want argos, we are argot accounting, nothing to do with argos.
woman: its a fish fryer, i only got it in january, and its broken already.
me: i understand that, but we are argot accounting, nothing to do with argos.
woman: you see it actually broke about a month ago, but i couldnt find the box. could i return it without the box?
me: i wouldnt know, this isnt argos.
woman: its ok though as i have found the box now. thats why i am trying to return it now.
me: well that should be better, if you get in touch with ARGOS they should be able to help you.
woman: can you put me through to the store in the hill street centre?
me: no i'm sorry i dont know there number and we have nothing to do with them
woman: why is it so hard to get through to the store i want, all i want to do is return this fish fryer
me: this is not argos
woman: can i just bring it to the store now

at this point i put the phone down. she called back so i told her "fuck off this is not argos" she seemed offended. this is a genuinely true story and this is about the 3rd time this has happened to me when i have been answering the phones here

also a true story, the royal wedding tomorrow is in doubt, after it has come out that ryan giggs has actually been banging kate middleton. we'll still get the holiday though so its all good

another true story. prince harry and prince phillip accidentally killed a prostitute on williams stag do, it was a blinding night though and its not like they havent done it before

he got the 4th medal along for being racist once on a trip to china. and see them swirly things on his shoulder? yeah? up there in the picture? he wears them cos they look pretty!

and if you pull on the rope he turns back into a reptile. its called his 'emergency return switch' all shape shifting reptilians have them. some are a little less obvious though. for example anthea turner has a small button behind her left ear, and with Dermot Murnaghan you have to punch him in the face.

so the first story i told was true, the others may or may not have been. who knows, i know i certainly dont!

this is a frog in a hat

this is a dog in a frog 

strawberry jam rules

its better than raspberry jam.

talahassee is a good name for a band. well as long as it is the right band. tip tree scarlett strawberry jam is well expensive.

this picture amuses me.

today i got a haircut, had a breakdown and hopefully saw the light. 

tonight i will make music. 

this weekend i will meet new people

i will see my brother and niece and nephews

apparently someone is getting married on friday

i get the day off

this is a list

are you still reading? 

i've switched back to left justify

come dine with me is on the telly

one of the women on it is drunk 

the bloke commentating just said another woman had a fat arse! 

i will soon have the internet at home so can write more blogs

i should wrap this up now 

or should i

are you really still reading

did you know that elton john is a cyborg and rod stewart is a lizard person?

1 step forward a million steps back

not wrote a blog for a few days cos my head is spinning. this is gonna be one of those ones where i dont write nonsense, where i dont write about a dog in a hat, where i spill the contents of my silly little head.

i am sad, feeling down, not knowing where i am going, i am winding myself up over things i cant control and wondering where all my confidence has gone. i am wondering where it all went wrong. what i did wrong and why i cant get this one thing out of my head. why am i so bothered about it? why do i feel so lonely? why do i still want back the one thing that has made me hurt so much for the last month?

i need to get away, meet new people, see new things. i need to get a good nights sleep and forget it all, i need to not write shit like this and make myself look like a pathetic fool.

i need aims and goals and to find myself again. i need a haircut. i need to get off facebook where i endlessly look to see what is going on, or where i put out some vaguely disguised depressing self pitying status in the hope i will get a text asking if i am ok. i really should delete all this but i still want someone to reach out to me and tell me its all gonna be ok and the time i needed has passed.

this is a cat in a hat

he looks rather dapper

Ryan giggs has been a naughty boy....

or so i've heard. in other football news i ruined a match for everyone last night by turning up to watch it at half time when there had been 5 goals in the first half so obviously there was only 1 in the second. so i've been struggling to to think of things to write this blog about, i've spent the last couple of days with my brain refusing to think of anything. i thought i'd mention that. some bloke on the radio just pronounced toilet, turlet. whats that all about?

ooh i put the lottery on last night, i wonder if i won.

nah i didnt!

so back to football, i also saw madrid beat barcelona in the spanish cup last night. i like this because i like jose mourinho. maybe a little too much. i think i probably would you know!

after the match in a fit of anger, because someone had asked him the time even though they knew the battery had gone in his watch, real madrid player sergio 'i miss my watch' ramos threw the spanish cup off the top of the team bus. this was made easier as it was a convertable bus and had its roof down cos it was a warm evening.

he then proceeded to rant about his issues with cats. he was spotted writing in big letters on a wall at the team hotel "The inherent problem with most cats is that they are not very delicious and rarely fly through space leaving rainbow trails". jose mourinho then slapped him and sent him to bed. what a man! 

anyways hopefully over the weekend i will be able to think of something to write! 

and i didnt win the lottery :(